One More Reason To Address An Employee’s Negative Behavior
Say you are a manager/leader in your organization. Say you have an employee or two that act out somewhere in the organization. You figure, the problem will take care of itself either through the person leaving, lower management addressing it, or their co-workers addressing it. You are a leader after all, in mid or even upper management and have more important things to do. Here is why it is actually your problem. An employees negative behavior impacts more than just those directly working with him/her. An employee’s negative behavior negatively impacts the organization’s ethical standards, and unproductive behavior violates fiduciary duty, two primary components of the bottom line. And, if you are a leader, optimizing the bottom line is your job. Make sure the line of management is addressing it where need be.
No.
“No” is a complete response. I had the great pleasure of spending sometime this week with a friend and colleague, Deborah Siegel, PhD. While talking with Deborah, she shared something amazing. She said she has a place in her office where she marks down when she says ‘no.’ So why is saying no a big deal? Because most of us, especially women, struggle with saying ‘no’, and saying no without having to explain why, etc. The ramifications can be significant when we fail to draw, and stick to the boundaries we need to be successful on our own terms. Here is a perfect example involving my own lapse. I over committed in the last few months. Some of the stuff I committed to I love and would do anytime I was asked. Some of it was because I felt I ‘should’ even though time wise I knew it would mean 4am or 5am starts to the work day and 11pm ends to the work day. What happened was due to being over committed, over worked, and under rested I began to slip up on things. Specifics…The May TEDx event I organized and ran required a lot of work pre, during and post event work with caterers, budgets, social media, ticket sales, accounting, speakers, etc. I LOVED doing that event, and deeply enjoyed the speakers that come on board. Being over committed I was not able to fully entrench myself the way I wanted to. Also updating TEDx web site required text often happened prior to 5am or after 10pm, or even on the fly via my cell phone, not ideal. And yes, I did it at 100 mph and managed to misspell one of the speaker’s name, not only in the original program for the event, but also on the TEDx video bio. I guarantee you this would not have happened if I had not over committed to things that really weren’t as meaningful and/or valuable. I got lucky, the speaker, Katy Hansell, caught it prior to the program going to print, and on the web site, which I then updated. Even luckier for me, is Katy is truly a generous person and made me feel like I was not an idiot for screwing it up. But we all know that doesn’t always happen, and very often people will zoom in on the 1% you missed rather than the 99% amazing stuff you got done. All this is to say, saying ‘no’ not only supports you, your mission, your business/employer, your family, etc. by empowering you to give your best, it is also a necessary thing to do. The word “no” does not require an explanation, nor does it need to involve feeling bad. One of the greatest lies in our culture is that we should be able to do everything, all the time and be the most amazing person in the history of the world at it. WRONG. You should do what you do best, and leave the other stuff to someone else who can do it best. Saying ‘no’ not only helps you up your game, it allows someone else to shine with the opportunity you are turning down. And yes, I am now proudly tracking when I say ‘no.’ Want to check out the two amazing women noted in this post? Visit Deborah Siegel, PhD, she does amazing things, by clicking here. And visit Katy Hansell, who also does amazing things by clicking here.
Inclusion
One of the greatest hurdles to productive group implementation is one of the easiest to solve, listening. Was everyone heard is a major indicator in whether or not the product of a decision will be implemented and the percentage of support it will receive. When we look at the model of group decision making – orientation, discussion, decision making, and implementation – it’s easy to identify where verbal contribution factors in. So the path is clear. The challenge is the engagement piece. Is everyone’s voice being heard? Is everyone being asked to contribute. Even if someone does not have something to contribute, the request and offer for them to contribute is critical, as is the sense of inclusion. Whether one decides to contribute or not, has less impact on outcomes than whether or not they felt included. A sense of inclusion is paramount to the decision to support the outcome. What’s all of the above mean? Want to tank your project quickly? Have someone who was involved in the project bad mouth it.
Public Speaking
Yesterday I held a TEDxWomen event here in IL, on the beautiful North Shore of Lake Michigan, outside of Chicago, in the amazing suburb of Winnetka. I learned a few extremely valuable lessons in the compact time I had to organize it, raise money for it, pick speakers and implement it all. 1) It is true, when opportunity knocks and you aren’t sure how to tackle the opportunity, say yes anyway, and figure it out along the way. 2) A great thing is a great thing. My event sold out without advertising and I covered cost with investing less than 2 hours raising the $8,000 I wanted to do the event well. 3) If you need help, ask. I didn’t ask for help for any of the process except for the day of the event. That was a mistake on my part as I could have shared this amazing experience with others. 4) There is an endless flow of amazing people when you look for them. The event featured 12 of these amazing people and their incredible stories. Some of the great speakers yesterday, Julia Collins who is the 2nd winningest Jeopardy contestant of all time, Marcia Cleveland, who swam the English Channel – her book,http://www.amazon.com/Dover-Solo-Swimming-English-Channel/dp/0967209110/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432928785&sr=1-1&keywords=Dover+Marcia+Cleveland, Jeanne Bishop who shared her story of mercy and grace after several members of her family were murdered – her book: http://www.amazon.com/Change-Heart-Justice-Making-Sisters/dp/0664259979, and so many other wonderful women. TEDxWomen and TEDx in general are the most amazing examples of an institution that has created a platform for truly, as they say, sharing “Ideas Worth Spreading”. Nine of the twelve speakers at day’s end yesterday…
Marketing vs. Engagement
I believe both nonprofits as well as for profits often confuse sales, marketing and engagement. Or even more challenging weight engagement last. The fact is, without engagement of donors, clients or customers your sales and marketing have far less impact. Social media absorbs so much of our time these days. One of the great draws of social media is it makes us feel engaged in both our own life and with others. It is easy, immediately gratifying and of little to no expense, monetarily to us. So that is your competition. Sectors, let’s take the food industry, see market share shrinking, even though we’ve never seen more choices on the shelves. Why? Because the donor, client or consumer doesn’t care if you’ve created tens of options. In fact it can be feel oppressive to decide when we are already overwhelmed with a lengthy to do list. It reminds us you are thinking of everybody, and we want to feel special. What we want is immediate gratification and to feel as if you are speaking to us as individuals. The day of mass marketing’s return on investment is coming to a close. If you can’t engage your target audience, making them feel as if you are talking only to them, or providing them with a special benefit, cost and/or return on their investment, quite frankly you are sunk.
Leadership
Leadership is about commitment to others and process. It is not about convenience.
Being A Leader Isn’t Always Convenient.
Being a leader isn’t always convenient. It means goals and team first, ego second. Anyone can say they are a leader, but then place blame, point fingers, pout, complain, bully, etc. But only true leaders have the strength to rise above listening to their egos. It isn’t easy, but that is what makes a true leader stand out. Want to know if you are a leader? Ask yourself, are you strong enough to put others before yourself? Are you wise enough to let go of your personal feelings for the greater good? Are you tough enough to be kind rather than feeling you must be right? Businessman Arnold Glasow in my opinion sums it up nicely in the quote below. Being a leader means bringing a level of thoughtfulness and self-sacrifice that most likely will never be acknowledged, and that is okay, because self acknowledgement isn’t the goal, moving forward together is.
Leader or a ‘Leader’?
Are you or are you working for a leader or a ‘leader’? One of the best qualities of human nature is our desire/ability to believe the best in people and/or that we can inspire change. Often this is true. Sometimes it is not. The trick is identifying the point in which you are investing too much time in a group or working for a ‘leader’ who has no desire to tread down the path you feel is leading to success. I’m not indicating that you are smarter and know better regarding what is best for the group or place of employment, maybe you do , maybe you don’t. I am indicating that you know what is best for you. If the leadership in whatever circle you may be in is toxic or turbulent it isn’t really leadership, it is a dictatorship. Not to say there shouldn’t be some type of change, there should. Change is necessary in our current business environment. Failure to change no longer leaves you just static, it leaves you behind. But change can either be productive or counterproductive. And only one of those two scenarios comes with leadership. Not clear on what constitutes a failure of leadership? Here is a big red flag, orders are more prevalent than discussion or conversations. Without concern for communication, clearly concern for participation, fulfillment, smart production, etc. will not exist. And that is just the tip of the iceberg.