When in doubt, edit. And then edit some more. If you want your stuff read remember this…people are busy. Busy people (and we are all busy people) like bullet points, brief, and don’t have time to read all the adjectives and adverbs you may be including. Edit.
Commit To Mutual Support, Double Your Success
I saw the above in a random post this morning. I’d like to take that 2% and up it to the 20% reminder Pareto’s Law conveys. Shape it how you want to, 20% of the people in your life cause 80% of the problems, 80% of your time goes to 20% of your customers, etc. No matter how you frame it, it is a great reminder of really taking a look at how you are distributing your resources and the return on investment, be it financial, emotional, etc. you receive. Recently I’ve noticed my 2nd and 3rd quarters have been time starved yet not financially productive. I’ve taken a look at where my time is going. And true to formula, 80% of my time is going to 20% of the people in my life, which happen to have a low to no return on investment for me, relationship wise, business wise, productivity wise, etc. A very ‘people pleasing’ dynamic grew out of this 20% at some point, and unchecked that dynamic has grown like a field of weeds. Consequently I have the majority of my time being sucked up by people with their hands out. Don’t get me wrong I believe in mentoring, supporting, even volunteering. The risk factor to stay aware of is when we fall out of balance and there is no mutual benefit. I’m not suggesting there always has to be a mutual benefit on every human interaction you have, but odds are you have a lot of responsibility in your life and need to be cognizant of what will build you up, and what will tear you down. It is true, if you identified a 2% shift there would be an impact. Realistically though, odds are if you invest the time you can identify over a 20% factor that would significantly change your daily life, and subsequently your life as a whole. The challenge is one, carving out time for evaluation, and two, having the courage to set down and walk away from those things that no longer serve your mental, financial and/or physical well-being. I’ve recently completed step one, and now begin step two. Step two will not be an easy journey for me, and perhaps at times unpleasant, but I do know that doing the ‘work’ to make it happen contributes to not only further empowering myself, but perhaps even empowering another by modeling the behavior.
No.
“No” is a complete response. I had the great pleasure of spending sometime this week with a friend and colleague, Deborah Siegel, PhD. While talking with Deborah, she shared something amazing. She said she has a place in her office where she marks down when she says ‘no.’ So why is saying no a big deal? Because most of us, especially women, struggle with saying ‘no’, and saying no without having to explain why, etc. The ramifications can be significant when we fail to draw, and stick to the boundaries we need to be successful on our own terms. Here is a perfect example involving my own lapse. I over committed in the last few months. Some of the stuff I committed to I love and would do anytime I was asked. Some of it was because I felt I ‘should’ even though time wise I knew it would mean 4am or 5am starts to the work day and 11pm ends to the work day. What happened was due to being over committed, over worked, and under rested I began to slip up on things. Specifics…The May TEDx event I organized and ran required a lot of work pre, during and post event work with caterers, budgets, social media, ticket sales, accounting, speakers, etc. I LOVED doing that event, and deeply enjoyed the speakers that come on board. Being over committed I was not able to fully entrench myself the way I wanted to. Also updating TEDx web site required text often happened prior to 5am or after 10pm, or even on the fly via my cell phone, not ideal. And yes, I did it at 100 mph and managed to misspell one of the speaker’s name, not only in the original program for the event, but also on the TEDx video bio. I guarantee you this would not have happened if I had not over committed to things that really weren’t as meaningful and/or valuable. I got lucky, the speaker, Katy Hansell, caught it prior to the program going to print, and on the web site, which I then updated. Even luckier for me, is Katy is truly a generous person and made me feel like I was not an idiot for screwing it up. But we all know that doesn’t always happen, and very often people will zoom in on the 1% you missed rather than the 99% amazing stuff you got done. All this is to say, saying ‘no’ not only supports you, your mission, your business/employer, your family, etc. by empowering you to give your best, it is also a necessary thing to do. The word “no” does not require an explanation, nor does it need to involve feeling bad. One of the greatest lies in our culture is that we should be able to do everything, all the time and be the most amazing person in the history of the world at it. WRONG. You should do what you do best, and leave the other stuff to someone else who can do it best. Saying ‘no’ not only helps you up your game, it allows someone else to shine with the opportunity you are turning down. And yes, I am now proudly tracking when I say ‘no.’ Want to check out the two amazing women noted in this post? Visit Deborah Siegel, PhD, she does amazing things, by clicking here. And visit Katy Hansell, who also does amazing things by clicking here.
Public Speaking
Yesterday I held a TEDxWomen event here in IL, on the beautiful North Shore of Lake Michigan, outside of Chicago, in the amazing suburb of Winnetka. I learned a few extremely valuable lessons in the compact time I had to organize it, raise money for it, pick speakers and implement it all. 1) It is true, when opportunity knocks and you aren’t sure how to tackle the opportunity, say yes anyway, and figure it out along the way. 2) A great thing is a great thing. My event sold out without advertising and I covered cost with investing less than 2 hours raising the $8,000 I wanted to do the event well. 3) If you need help, ask. I didn’t ask for help for any of the process except for the day of the event. That was a mistake on my part as I could have shared this amazing experience with others. 4) There is an endless flow of amazing people when you look for them. The event featured 12 of these amazing people and their incredible stories. Some of the great speakers yesterday, Julia Collins who is the 2nd winningest Jeopardy contestant of all time, Marcia Cleveland, who swam the English Channel – her book,http://www.amazon.com/Dover-Solo-Swimming-English-Channel/dp/0967209110/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432928785&sr=1-1&keywords=Dover+Marcia+Cleveland, Jeanne Bishop who shared her story of mercy and grace after several members of her family were murdered – her book: http://www.amazon.com/Change-Heart-Justice-Making-Sisters/dp/0664259979, and so many other wonderful women. TEDxWomen and TEDx in general are the most amazing examples of an institution that has created a platform for truly, as they say, sharing “Ideas Worth Spreading”. Nine of the twelve speakers at day’s end yesterday…
You Must Recharge
My friend Melissa once told me chickens brood, sitting in what could appear to be a very unproductive manner, in order to be uber-productive later. I’m paraphrasing that a bit. Melissa said it much better-she lives on a farm and knows things and knew I needed to dial it down at the time. All this is to say, unproductive behavior can breed productive behavior. You must rest and relax in order to maximize your creativity, thoughts, skills, productivity, etc. And if you are a manager or leader, you must allow those you are leading to do so as well.
Ratty Transgressions
There are all types of very important, official sounding words to describe group/team conflict dynamics. We can talk about proportional or perceptual conflict, but what it all boils down to on most occasions when conflict goes from productive to toxic is what I like to call “rats in a cage conflict.” “Rats in a cage conflict” is the scenario when there appears (real or not) to be more work and less time for those within the dynamic to get it all done. Basically, scarce resources, primal instincts equal turning on each other. The result is the dual ratty transgressions of finger-pointing and off-loading responsibilities. A simpler term is “drama.” The key to resolution is within the observation of the dynamic and workload as a whole. As noted above, the fall out can come from a scenario that is perceived and not real? How? Burnout and even stress can skew our outlooks. We fail to appropriately address and manage our time. For instance, recently someone shared they don’t have enough time for all that is required of them. Upon further evaluation, turns out he does have enough time, the time however was not being managed well. Often just the stress of the known combined with the unknown timeline of when the flood will abate is enough for folks to disconnect from appropriate time management skills, and the downward spiral begins. Perceived work versus actual work can be two very different things. When our time management component snaps due to misperception, the toxic fallout will spread to additional employees and the dominos begin to fall. So how do you address the situation? You can address it in several ways. Time management resources help, continued communication helps, accountability helps, and planning helps. If someone is overwhelmed have them map out their duties and time management plan. Boom, whining goes away and you can identify if the problem is real or perceived.
Action + Accountability Trumps Ongoing Mind Numbing Discussion
Think. Discuss. Act. Be Accountable. That is all you need to succeed. There is a direct correlation at a point in ongoing discussions showing reduced productivity and positive outcome. Early collaboration and action has a cost benefit.
Action Trumps Ongoing Discussion
Action trumps ongoing discussion. Think about the issue, have a meeting or discussion to find the best course of action and then move on it. Failure to pull the trigger and then relapse into ongoing consensus and meetings is the path to an ongoing loss of productivity and ROI. Be active, be accountable.
Survival of the Fittest? Competition vs. Cooperation
Survival of the Fittest? Competition vs. Cooperation? Our culture has the propensity to value competition over all else. Often rooted in the Darwin alleged theory of survival of the fittest. I’m not sure how Darwin’s theory morphed into the manner of how we often flippantly interpret it. I am however sure that interpretation is off base when it comes to the workplace. Cooperation and adaptability is what Darwin was focused on. Darwin himself only mentioned survival of the fittest twice. In contrast he mentioned the concept of love/cooperation/adaptability (call it what you want) ninety-five times. He was correct. Cooperation will win every time when you look at the big picture. And in the workplace it will create a more productivity, higher return on ongoing efforts and perhaps even re-engage the over 70% of employees out there that are actively disengaged in their jobs. That is a lot of unproductive dollars going to wages for unproductive work. Creating a culture of cooperation increases your culture of adaptability and will result in increased ROI, increased employee retention, higher productivity, etc. It will maximize both time and results.