“No” is a complete response. I had the great pleasure of spending sometime this week with a friend and colleague, Deborah Siegel, PhD. While talking with Deborah, she shared something amazing. She said she has a place in her office where she marks down when she says ‘no.’ So why is saying no a big deal? Because most of us, especially women, struggle with saying ‘no’, and saying no without having to explain why, etc. The ramifications can be significant when we fail to draw, and stick to the boundaries we need to be successful on our own terms. Here is a perfect example involving my own lapse. I over committed in the last few months. Some of the stuff I committed to I love and would do anytime I was asked. Some of it was because I felt I ‘should’ even though time wise I knew it would mean 4am or 5am starts to the work day and 11pm ends to the work day. What happened was due to being over committed, over worked, and under rested I began to slip up on things. Specifics…The May TEDx event I organized and ran required a lot of work pre, during and post event work with caterers, budgets, social media, ticket sales, accounting, speakers, etc. I LOVED doing that event, and deeply enjoyed the speakers that come on board. Being over committed I was not able to fully entrench myself the way I wanted to. Also updating TEDx web site required text often happened prior to 5am or after 10pm, or even on the fly via my cell phone, not ideal. And yes, I did it at 100 mph and managed to misspell one of the speaker’s name, not only in the original program for the event, but also on the TEDx video bio. I guarantee you this would not have happened if I had not over committed to things that really weren’t as meaningful and/or valuable. I got lucky, the speaker, Katy Hansell, caught it prior to the program going to print, and on the web site, which I then updated. Even luckier for me, is Katy is truly a generous person and made me feel like I was not an idiot for screwing it up. But we all know that doesn’t always happen, and very often people will zoom in on the 1% you missed rather than the 99% amazing stuff you got done. All this is to say, saying ‘no’ not only supports you, your mission, your business/employer, your family, etc. by empowering you to give your best, it is also a necessary thing to do. The word “no” does not require an explanation, nor does it need to involve feeling bad. One of the greatest lies in our culture is that we should be able to do everything, all the time and be the most amazing person in the history of the world at it. WRONG. You should do what you do best, and leave the other stuff to someone else who can do it best. Saying ‘no’ not only helps you up your game, it allows someone else to shine with the opportunity you are turning down. And yes, I am now proudly tracking when I say ‘no.’ Want to check out the two amazing women noted in this post? Visit Deborah Siegel, PhD, she does amazing things, by clicking here. And visit Katy Hansell, who also does amazing things by clicking here.
Set Your Goal, Listen To Yourself
This TEDx video from the TEDxWomen event I organized has one of my favorite thoughts within it…Marcia, who swam the English Channel, notes when people discourage a goal, call it crazy, etc., it equates to “leveling the field” – the notion that if they can’t do what you are aiming for, then you can’t either. View Marcia’s TEDxWinnetkaWomen talk.
What Is It Really Worth? Or, If You Aren’t Contributing Give Up Your Seat At The Table
With stats showing over 75% of the U.S. workforce is unhappy with their job(s) you have to begin to wonder why they stay. Where is the value for them in maintaining the misery, not only for themselves, but most likely, the ripple impacts their family and friends? Money and/or family, is the response I most often hear in regards to folks who consciously show up to a job they don’t like, and often full on hate. One, your family and friends want you to be happy. Two, there is most likely a job out there for you that you’d enjoy and would pay what you need to live a happy life. Three, if you are not looking for a better job, you can not find a better job. And four, perhaps there is someone out there that would really dig the job you are in. Summary: If you are at the table and not contributing, give up your seat to someone who will. You can’t find the right fit and fall into the right slot without shaking things up a bit.
Leadership
Leadership is about commitment to others and process. It is not about convenience.
Discretionary Effort
I had a discussion this past week with a manager for a firm that had a poor last quarter showing. He couldn’t quite put his finger on the slip in dynamic. It was a great conversation and a testament to paying attention to employee relations. It is important to remember positive or negative production/outcomes can be foreseen if you identify what your company employees’ discretionary efforts are. Or heaven forbid, determining if they exist. Discretionary effort is what determines your competitiveness as well as your profit within the marketplace. How do you determine if your employees contribute discretionary effort? Realistically evaluate if they are emotionally committed to the company. Lots of management folks mistake ‘happy’ employees with emotionally committed employees. A happy employee may show up daily and happily do their work, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are maximizing their own potential productivity level, and subsequently the company’s outcomes/results are negatively impacted. As Doug Conant, a one time CEO at Campbell’s said, “To win in the marketplace you must first win in the workplace.” So when you have emotionally committed employees, you have the edge. Emotionally committed employees are the ones who will work late, do more, and create a positive impact through growth, connection and output without being asked. They are the ones creating a dynamic that leads to measurable growth, productivity and cost savings.
Happy Employees, It’s Not Easy
I had to read an article with the title of “5 Foolproof Steps to Happier Employees” because rarely is anything “foolproof.” But while reading it, there it was, the universal mis-belief… “Don’t ask about things you can’t or won’t change.” I’m not on board with the ‘don’t ask’ part, as ignorance in business is not bliss. And honestly, everyone is usually aware of those types of issues. Ignoring them fuels the fire. However, I am 100% all about not pretending to be able to change something you know you can not change. This requires active listening, honesty and the foresight to have a legitimate explanation on the ‘why’.
13% Of Employees Worldwide Are Engaged
You’ve already done the math in your head that tells you 87% of employees worldwide are not engaged. For the stats you can visit http://www.gallup.com/poll/165269/worldwide-employees-engaged-work.aspx . We can talk until we are blue in the face about why this dynamic exists. But I strongly believe it is rooted in a few basic ‘truths’. One, change is hard. Two, we are often living urgency addicted lives that tell us if we believe, visualize, etc. things will happen. Both of those ‘truths’ are correct. However, there is an additional component that needs to be added into the mix and it is ‘work’. You have to do the work. Sometimes it is hard work, uncomfortable, it might leave you standing alone or standing among people you are unfamiliar with and/or it may upset those who are accustomed to your current so-called ‘life’. What it boils down to is this… Employers will have unproductive, or less than ideal workforces and employees will have jobs they are not engaged in until someone pulls the accountability card for something more than just productivity/dollars. We are settling for less than we could have, as individuals, organizations and corporations because the bar seems respectable regarding outcomes. The reality is if you implement an engagement plan you could be seeing an altogether new, much higher, metric of what success really can look like increasing all your positive assets including productivity, dollars and engagement.
Don’t Bargain
I’ve always loved the following quote: “The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problems.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi The reason is that so often either subconsciously or consciously we stop ourselves from committing all we can whether in work or relationships. Sometimes we may feel that if we bargain our gifts and/or emotional commitments we can somehow manage an excuse if all does not work out. News flash…if you bargain your gifts and talents, providing less than you are capable of…all has already not worked out. Give your best, everyday, always…as it is your life, and your responsibility to live it well.
Perfect, The Enemy Of Done
For the last few years I have heard people constantly use the word “perfect.” It drives me crazy. Perfect is often one’s perception, not reality. The pursuit of ‘perfection’ is one of the main reasons we delay and often forgo moving in positive, productive directions. Here are two reasons which represent why I am not a fan of ‘perfect.’