I attended an event this morning for a foundation’s 10th anniversary. Each table participated in the breakout session, assigned with a specific topic. My table’s topic was leadership. Everyone around the table was asked to share how they show and facilitate leadership and had already been asked to share something recent they are proud of. The last woman to speak at the table said she wasn’t really a leader in any way. Ironically it was she, who for me, is the one that showed the greatest leadership. The last speaker at the table shared what she was proud of, prior to sharing she wasn’t really a leader. She shared, very authentically, that she is proud of addressing the issue of caring for her mother in a manner that made her self manage her own fears, expectations and projections and come to a place of acceptance and positive forward movement, along with a positive outlook with the entire new dynamic she was facing with her mother. She perfectly articulated and is modeling every quality a good leader has. Leaders are not defined by a career path or vocation. We all know or have experienced people in management positions who are not good leaders. Leaders are those who can self manage their needs and their ego, placing the greater goal, be it professional or personal, in front of their singular vision. She is a leader.
Communication, Foundation To Success
Commit To Mutual Support, Double Your Success
I saw the above in a random post this morning. I’d like to take that 2% and up it to the 20% reminder Pareto’s Law conveys. Shape it how you want to, 20% of the people in your life cause 80% of the problems, 80% of your time goes to 20% of your customers, etc. No matter how you frame it, it is a great reminder of really taking a look at how you are distributing your resources and the return on investment, be it financial, emotional, etc. you receive. Recently I’ve noticed my 2nd and 3rd quarters have been time starved yet not financially productive. I’ve taken a look at where my time is going. And true to formula, 80% of my time is going to 20% of the people in my life, which happen to have a low to no return on investment for me, relationship wise, business wise, productivity wise, etc. A very ‘people pleasing’ dynamic grew out of this 20% at some point, and unchecked that dynamic has grown like a field of weeds. Consequently I have the majority of my time being sucked up by people with their hands out. Don’t get me wrong I believe in mentoring, supporting, even volunteering. The risk factor to stay aware of is when we fall out of balance and there is no mutual benefit. I’m not suggesting there always has to be a mutual benefit on every human interaction you have, but odds are you have a lot of responsibility in your life and need to be cognizant of what will build you up, and what will tear you down. It is true, if you identified a 2% shift there would be an impact. Realistically though, odds are if you invest the time you can identify over a 20% factor that would significantly change your daily life, and subsequently your life as a whole. The challenge is one, carving out time for evaluation, and two, having the courage to set down and walk away from those things that no longer serve your mental, financial and/or physical well-being. I’ve recently completed step one, and now begin step two. Step two will not be an easy journey for me, and perhaps at times unpleasant, but I do know that doing the ‘work’ to make it happen contributes to not only further empowering myself, but perhaps even empowering another by modeling the behavior.
Urgent vs. Important
It is true, many of us work and/or live in environments that are fueled by doing what is ‘urgent’. The question is, who defines what is urgent? It is important to occasionally take a step back and review your own mission, goals, etc. and determine if your daily actions and activities are leading you towards your definition of positive outcomes and success, that which is important. Or, are you trapped in someone else’s cycle of urgency?
One More Reason To Address An Employee’s Negative Behavior
Say you are a manager/leader in your organization. Say you have an employee or two that act out somewhere in the organization. You figure, the problem will take care of itself either through the person leaving, lower management addressing it, or their co-workers addressing it. You are a leader after all, in mid or even upper management and have more important things to do. Here is why it is actually your problem. An employees negative behavior impacts more than just those directly working with him/her. An employee’s negative behavior negatively impacts the organization’s ethical standards, and unproductive behavior violates fiduciary duty, two primary components of the bottom line. And, if you are a leader, optimizing the bottom line is your job. Make sure the line of management is addressing it where need be.
Customer Service
The brief article, linked to below, is an interesting read regarding customer service, and includes this very valid statement, “There is only one customer, the one in front of you.” Click here to read the article.
No.
“No” is a complete response. I had the great pleasure of spending sometime this week with a friend and colleague, Deborah Siegel, PhD. While talking with Deborah, she shared something amazing. She said she has a place in her office where she marks down when she says ‘no.’ So why is saying no a big deal? Because most of us, especially women, struggle with saying ‘no’, and saying no without having to explain why, etc. The ramifications can be significant when we fail to draw, and stick to the boundaries we need to be successful on our own terms. Here is a perfect example involving my own lapse. I over committed in the last few months. Some of the stuff I committed to I love and would do anytime I was asked. Some of it was because I felt I ‘should’ even though time wise I knew it would mean 4am or 5am starts to the work day and 11pm ends to the work day. What happened was due to being over committed, over worked, and under rested I began to slip up on things. Specifics…The May TEDx event I organized and ran required a lot of work pre, during and post event work with caterers, budgets, social media, ticket sales, accounting, speakers, etc. I LOVED doing that event, and deeply enjoyed the speakers that come on board. Being over committed I was not able to fully entrench myself the way I wanted to. Also updating TEDx web site required text often happened prior to 5am or after 10pm, or even on the fly via my cell phone, not ideal. And yes, I did it at 100 mph and managed to misspell one of the speaker’s name, not only in the original program for the event, but also on the TEDx video bio. I guarantee you this would not have happened if I had not over committed to things that really weren’t as meaningful and/or valuable. I got lucky, the speaker, Katy Hansell, caught it prior to the program going to print, and on the web site, which I then updated. Even luckier for me, is Katy is truly a generous person and made me feel like I was not an idiot for screwing it up. But we all know that doesn’t always happen, and very often people will zoom in on the 1% you missed rather than the 99% amazing stuff you got done. All this is to say, saying ‘no’ not only supports you, your mission, your business/employer, your family, etc. by empowering you to give your best, it is also a necessary thing to do. The word “no” does not require an explanation, nor does it need to involve feeling bad. One of the greatest lies in our culture is that we should be able to do everything, all the time and be the most amazing person in the history of the world at it. WRONG. You should do what you do best, and leave the other stuff to someone else who can do it best. Saying ‘no’ not only helps you up your game, it allows someone else to shine with the opportunity you are turning down. And yes, I am now proudly tracking when I say ‘no.’ Want to check out the two amazing women noted in this post? Visit Deborah Siegel, PhD, she does amazing things, by clicking here. And visit Katy Hansell, who also does amazing things by clicking here.
Set Your Goal, Listen To Yourself
This TEDx video from the TEDxWomen event I organized has one of my favorite thoughts within it…Marcia, who swam the English Channel, notes when people discourage a goal, call it crazy, etc., it equates to “leveling the field” – the notion that if they can’t do what you are aiming for, then you can’t either. View Marcia’s TEDxWinnetkaWomen talk.
What Is It Really Worth? Or, If You Aren’t Contributing Give Up Your Seat At The Table
With stats showing over 75% of the U.S. workforce is unhappy with their job(s) you have to begin to wonder why they stay. Where is the value for them in maintaining the misery, not only for themselves, but most likely, the ripple impacts their family and friends? Money and/or family, is the response I most often hear in regards to folks who consciously show up to a job they don’t like, and often full on hate. One, your family and friends want you to be happy. Two, there is most likely a job out there for you that you’d enjoy and would pay what you need to live a happy life. Three, if you are not looking for a better job, you can not find a better job. And four, perhaps there is someone out there that would really dig the job you are in. Summary: If you are at the table and not contributing, give up your seat to someone who will. You can’t find the right fit and fall into the right slot without shaking things up a bit.