Are you focused on problems or solutions? It doesn’t take a genius, when you think about it, to determine which focus will leave you more productive, more relaxed and happier in general.
IF You Belive In Your Plan Do WHATEVER It Takes
I was coaching someone at a Fortune 100 company recently when the conversation turned to what Seth Godin refers to as “the dip” (he has an excellent book about it.) We were talking about the time we all confront in our careers where we have to push through to reach our goals. This concept is a reality for everyone, except those completely comfortable living a mediocre life. Pushing through can be challenging enough, but add to that others telling you it is not worth it, oh boy. People have the propensity to hold others back and discourage them (rather than work to achieve their own goals) in a camouflaged way that seems like caring. We will decide to believe or not to believe we can achieve our goal at the point of their input based on how strongly we believe in what we want and what we can do. Further exacerbating the issue is the misconception that life is supposed to be easy. We live in a culture that has a lot of media telling us life should be easy. That we will obtain our goals without a hitch if we believe enough and we are on the right path. Don’t get me wrong, right thinking is key in the process; however, if everyone in your path is not of the ‘right thinking’ mind, you will have challenges. Sometimes big challenges involving money and/or support. This is “the dip” and it is where the rubber hits the road. When you hit challenges it is all about perspective. Challenges are your opportunity to be great. Challenges are gifts that hone your capabilities and resources. Challenges are teachable moments that provide you with perspectives and outlooks you might not otherwise have. Do they suck? Maybe…probably. Are they worth it…definitely. So what if you have to suck it up for a while. Reaching goals requires pushing through, regardless of what others think. Enjoy the following story about an entrepreneur who did what it took to build her empire. All of a sudden cleaning houses doesn’t seem so bad does it when the end game is $20 million. http://littlepinkbook.com/little-pink-book/career/the-cupcake-queen
Change
I go back and forth on the importance of stability and ‘rooting’. Sometimes I think I, and others, get too comfortable in life and rather settle than grow. Sometimes I think that we all have a tipping point and we should be aware of ours and others and respect them. I am more of a boundary and limits pusher. This does not always serve me. It is why I fell on my head in yoga and why I currently have a heel injury and two numb toes from training for a half marathon. While pushing the limits has helped me grow and experience a ton of great stuff, I occasionally forget to check in with myself. And occasionally, like the half marathon this weekend, I miss out on an epic fun goal because I pushed too hard and didn’t respect my limits. While I get to go and volunteer for the American Cancer Society it will not be the same as running the half and all those 5, 8, 10+ mile runs are now just preparation for no end goal. So where is the balance? The balance comes from being honest enough with yourself and knowing yourself well enough to listen to what you know is your truth. Balance comes from having the fortitude and sometimes just plain guts to push outside of your comfort level. Balance also comes from listening to your own inner wisdom. The truth is we all know we are usually capable of doing more than we currently are doing. So pushing yourself is good. What is not good is shoving yourself. Strive to the point of thriving, not flailing.
Are You The Problem Or The Solution?
Right now there is a huge amount of talk about the actions, or perhaps inaction, of our elected officials regarding our national debt and what to do about it and the budget. Lots of talk, lots of chatter, lots of complaining about the situation. Question, where is the action piece? Whether it is government, family, friends, work, or whatever you want to throw in the mix has merely complaining about an issue ever been the magic bullet needed to change it? No, no it has not. If you want to complain about your government, your family, spouse, friend, boss, co-worker…you best be able to back your complaining with actionable solutions. Otherwise all you have is whining and loser talk. It is doubtful that is what you want to be known for in any situation.
Dealing With It
Yesterday I had a conversation with a sales manager at a company that is going through a lot of great changes. The conversation was about how to deal with change. Change is great, without it progress will lag if it exist at all, but change usually isn’t embraced. The dichotomy (and disaster) with change in business comes when we don’t like/embrace change, but also feel we have to pretend it is no big deal. Change is a big deal. Change helps us propel forward. Propel is defined as “drive, push, or cause to move” and let’s face it…”push” is usually the indicator in play. Being ‘pushed’ is not a comfortable thing for most people. It puts us in the position of feeling we have no control. It creates a dynamic which in turn has us focused on resistance rather than progress. Thus I repeat, change is a big deal. This is why having a way to cope is such a big player. Pretending you easily adapt because you don’t want to look weak is a recipe for disaster. Epic failure is always born out of the failure to touch base with who we are as individuals. Forging forward in fear combined with faith, with drive, preparation, like a woman on fire, etc., is great. Forging forward in fear and acting like it is not big deal…not so great. What is comes down to is this…when you forge forward showing you are maybe nervous/scared but driven and prepared you will have developed a layer of coping skills that engages others in your journey. What an excellent fit to go along on the ride with your other internal/external coping skills. When you march forward like it is the easiest thing in the world, and the world by nature knows it is not, you de-humanize yourself and disengage from your team. It is equivalent to telling everyone that you are better than them. And by the way, even if you are, exhibiting it will serve no one…not you, not them. All this is to say, as people we love to have someone to root for, and we’d love to root for you too! Will you let us?
The Fine Line Between Fearless & Stupidity
I fell on my head yesterday in yoga class. I mean FELL as in mild concussion! My major commitment to fearlessness turned out to be a major commitment to stupidity. There is a fine line in between fearlessness and stupidity. I walk it often. This sounds bad, but it isn’t, that is until you wind up on the stupid side. So most of us fall into one of two groups. There is a group that is walking the line between fearlessness and stupidity and a group walking a line of fear and excuses. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out which group has better results, and often more fun. A monkey in a lab coat can make the call. The trouble comes in when we blindly follow on the road to fearlessness. Travel down it with wild abandon but remember the runner in front of you may, just perhaps, have a different skill set or skill level. Not being at that level does not make you fearful, is NOT an excuse to turn back and is not commentary on your journey. Instead it is something to aspire to. Work your way towards that goal, achievement, behavior, etc. Going from zero to 120 mph does not always work. Being fearless does not mean abandoning your good judgement. Spare yourself from falling on your head.
Inaction vs. Failing
Inaction vs. failing, which is worse? Easy, inaction, hands down it the most detrimental thing we can do to ourselves. Failing at least is still progress/forward movement. Failure has a negative connotation to it, an undeserving one at that. Failure is not the end of the line, it is part of the process on the road to victory. Failure helps us build our mental and emotional endurance which aids in our long-term success. Emotional endurance helps us grow to the next level. No emotional endurance means no failure was overcome and subsequently no growth took place. A muscle performs better when it is pushed to its limits. It is when the muscle breaks down through wear that it rebuilds and strengthens. And like the body, the mind and our emotions follow suit as well.
Will You Dare To Be Great?
“If the whole world followed you, would you be pleased with where you took it?” ~Neale Donald Walsch How crazy easy is it to get caught up in what others believe is ‘doing the right thing’?! Whether it is staying in a job you don’t like or a relationship that isn’t what it should be it is easy to frame it as the ‘right thing’ because that is how others perceive it. Here is the thing though, it is NOT the right thing if it is not authentic to who you are. When I saw a statistic and read Laura Juarez’s blog this week,” 63.93 Billion People World Wide & Not One Single Duplicate” , it was another reminder, yet with more of an impact with a number like 63.93 billion, that we are here to serve as ourselves. Can you use your job, your spouse, your kids, your income, your house, your debt, the weather, your friends, your parents, your religion, your location, your co-workers, your age, your pet goldfish, etc. as a reason to stay in an environment where you are not serving at your greatest capacity, the capacity you were created to serve in, yes you can use those excuses. The outcome however is that you do a disservice to all those you say you are doing it for, the litany of the list above along with whatever else you desire to include. Why? Because you are teaching them that not being authentic is okay. You are teaching them that not being who you were created to be is okay. You are teaching them to settle. You are teaching them to live a life of convenience rather than a life of worth. The life that you and they were created for. Certainly none of us sets out intentionally thinking, what I want my legacy to be is a legacy of convenience. Most of us want our lives to be a life of worth and contribution to the greater good, which includes our family, friends and pet goldfish. Can you live ‘happily’ living the life of convenience? Yep (in theory). Can you live a true life of example, genuine happiness and live gloriously in a life of convenience? Nope. Do you want to pretend that short-term hurt or lack of comfort is more important than long-term results, then go for the convenient life (which by the way is not always easy or enjoyable either.) The choice is yours. Do you want an easy life or a worthwhile life? Do you want to contribute on an average scale or a glorious one? Do you want to change (or maintain) one or two lives or do you want to live in a manner that empowers EVERYONE that comes in contact with you? Again, the choice is yours. The consequences are everyone’s. Will you dare to be great?
When Works Return On Effort Sucks
We are always hearing the return on investment (ROI) term thrown about at work, sometimes at home as well. But what about return on effort (ROE)? ROE is the heart on soul needed to maximize ROI. But when was the last time you, or you had your employees clearly write out their desired ROE? Most everyone knows what their job is. And we all identify with what we are paid, the tangible. More important however is the intangible, the ROE. If we do not define what it is we are looking for regarding the return for/on our effort, we certainly cannot expect anyone else to identify it. And that is when trouble and a lack of fulfillment can kick in. Take a moment, an hour, a day or whatever it takes to define what you are looking for your ROE to be. The sooner you define it, the sooner you will be a major player in the company’s overall ROI.