A beautiful, talented, under utilized, under appreciated friend said yesterday she is making “drastic changes.” My response to that is “YAY!” Sometimes we need to jump to rise up out of our funk. I think a post from Dr. Bryan Schuetz says it best. The good doctor’s post include the following (some I’ve paraphrased.) As Jack London said: “I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.” Need help getting ready to jump? 1) Know your dream. 2) Protect your dream. 3) “Live your dream as if your life depends on it, because it really does.” ~Dr. Bryan Schuetz If you’d like to get Dr. Schuetz’s daily quotes, check out http://www.daily-motivational-quote.com . Two things about it…it is free…and the quotes and posts are good.
The Somebody Else Syndrome
I’ve been working with someone who is out of control and ego based and has no idea that 1) he is, 2) it is a problem. This person is a victim and most excellent example of the “Somebody Else Syndrome”. No one wants to deal with the potential fall out of telling the king he has no clothes. What a disaster we create when we decide to go down the path of ‘someone else will do it’. Look around it is everywhere, at work, in politics, government, etc. We all know it isn’t working well, this ‘I don’t want to be the one’ risk aversion. And avoiding only exacerbates the problem. In the case noted above, everyone is suffering, the organization is suffering and the individual is unknowingly suffering because everyone is vocal behind his back about the problem, but not to his face. Whether you want to admit it or not, the truth is, failure to act and/or address a problem is the equivalent of allowing and/or approving of the behavior. In the case of the one I work with passive behavior will lead to loss of numerous jobs, negative impact on a much larger than the organization itself and ultimately mass humiliation for the individual. Sometimes we justify our inaction with the ‘what goes around comes around’ mentality. This is a weak idea and disaster of a plan. Bottom line, your unwillingness to address a problem makes you a problem too. None of us are an island. Sticking with the ‘somebody else will do it’ pattern means you are not only hurting yourself and your future you are hurting all those that come in contact with you.
Higher Incentives Lead To Poorer Performance
If you are operating in management or leadership you may be thinking the better the reward, the better the performance. Makes sense right? Or does it? Science shows there is a paradox… check it out… adapted from Dan Pink’s talk at the RSA. This clip illustrates the hidden truths behind what really motivates us at home and in the workplace. Money is often valued less than mastery, creativity, etc. It is about purpose just as much if not more as profit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc
Go For It! It Is All Perspective After All
More and more lately I’ve been talking with fabulous people who are working in amazing jobs and loving it! These are jobs they are crazy passionate about and jobs most of us would think ‘oh, I can’t do that, I wouldn’t make enough.’ Some of these fabulous people are making a ton of money and some are making a decent amount and some are even working a second job to fuel their ability to do what they love. My question of the day is this… Have you traded passion and “right work” (work that is good for you and the world) for a job that makes you money to buy stuff that will end up in the junkyard one day? Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE a Kate Spade purse and deeply enjoy rocking out a good pair of shoes. Having said that I’m also willing to live low-end house wise to experience and work in a high-end, magical, amazing, changing the world job. In the big picture it isn’t a tradeoff for me as it fits perfectly with me and my values even if it doesn’t fit with others. All I sacrificed was believing others know more about me than I do. It is all perspective after all! It is tough to pick passion and decide being a change agent is more important than another or nicer car. And we’ve often been programmed to prioritize what we have over what we contribute. Is it possible to have it all. Yes. But the trick is not getting sucked into the need to “earn a living” over “making an amazing difference.” As I mentioned I’ve had a lot of conversations lately proving the two are not mutually exclusive.
Can’t Have It All…p.s. Why Would You Want To?
The other day, after being on the road for nine days, and working seven straight days to prepare for the nine I succumbed to drinking soda. I was SO tired and needing to pick up my game to make it through the home stretch without seeming/getting tired and/or crabby. So I’m drinking this soda and someone says to me “I never drink soda.” Okay, this is a conversation opener that can lead down many paths. One, I could have said that I rarely drink it except when exceedingly tired and in need of immediate sugar and caffeine at a price point below Starbucks. Or, I could have shared how many sacrifices I’d recently made to pull together a situation for so many others in lieu of my own needs. Or I could have done the I’m a lacto-vegetarian – unless you’re a vegan you may want to back off judging my soda. What I did however was say, “that’s great!” and meant it. Because what is the point of being “right” at the cost of another? What is the point of success on the backs of others? What is the point of huge profit while over extending and at times breaking your employees? What is the point of working yourself so hard that you bring little to nothing to your home? We talk about moderation when it comes to food like it is a no brainer. How long will you wait to talk about moderation in the work place? This is particularly hard if you are the boss. Depending on your corporate culture it may feel damn near impossible. But what it boils down to is this… We know we can’t have it all. So what is YOUR priority? Is it driven by a healthy environment or profit?
No to Fear…YES to dreams
Say NO to your fear and YES to your dreams!
Struggling? Fantastic!
Do you feel as if you are struggling? Fantastic! In a world that presents immediate gratification and that everything should be easy, struggling doesn’t seem fashionable. But guess what…fashionable or not, it paves the road to your dreams. We don’t really tune into ourselves unless we feel the push and pull of life. Struggling helps us sort through how bad we want something, what it is truly worth to us. Struggle sows the seeds of our great rewards. Proof that struggle weeds out the suckers… Abraham Lincoln had numerous disasters in his life, even lost eight elections. Without facing and dealing with struggle he would not have become a great President. Tyler Perry lived in his car so committed to his passion that he would not settle for anything less. Below is a short clip with some more examples of great people who struggled, worked through it, and reaped the passion they were working towards all along! While it might be easier and possibly at times more lucrative to tell people it is easy…I’ll do you the great favor instead and share…life isn’t suppose to be easy…it is suppose to be worthwhile. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tjYoKCBYag
Have An Excellent Week & Remember…
Unleash The Power Of Your Inner Kitten
I coined the term “unleash the power of your inner kitten” while coaching a gentleman who was very detached emotionally at work. Many of us are like that as we were professionally groomed to keep our emotions out of the workplace. Keeping emotions out of the equation, one, is not realistic and two, is not productive. This is in no way an endorsement for time-wasting emotional outburst etc. This is however a reminder that when you bring authentic kindness to the table you will begin to see how the comfort level of others raises, as does their willingness to support and take risks for you. Warning: If you are being inauthentic, they will know and the converse will take place. Additional warning: If you are thinking you can take advantage of someone unleashing their inner kitten, you are wrong. Even kittens have the ability to do some serious damage when being messed with.