I saw the above in a random post this morning. I’d like to take that 2% and up it to the 20% reminder Pareto’s Law conveys. Shape it how you want to, 20% of the people in your life cause 80% of the problems, 80% of your time goes to 20% of your customers, etc. No matter how you frame it, it is a great reminder of really taking a look at how you are distributing your resources and the return on investment, be it financial, emotional, etc. you receive. Recently I’ve noticed my 2nd and 3rd quarters have been time starved yet not financially productive. I’ve taken a look at where my time is going. And true to formula, 80% of my time is going to 20% of the people in my life, which happen to have a low to no return on investment for me, relationship wise, business wise, productivity wise, etc. A very ‘people pleasing’ dynamic grew out of this 20% at some point, and unchecked that dynamic has grown like a field of weeds. Consequently I have the majority of my time being sucked up by people with their hands out. Don’t get me wrong I believe in mentoring, supporting, even volunteering. The risk factor to stay aware of is when we fall out of balance and there is no mutual benefit. I’m not suggesting there always has to be a mutual benefit on every human interaction you have, but odds are you have a lot of responsibility in your life and need to be cognizant of what will build you up, and what will tear you down. It is true, if you identified a 2% shift there would be an impact. Realistically though, odds are if you invest the time you can identify over a 20% factor that would significantly change your daily life, and subsequently your life as a whole. The challenge is one, carving out time for evaluation, and two, having the courage to set down and walk away from those things that no longer serve your mental, financial and/or physical well-being. I’ve recently completed step one, and now begin step two. Step two will not be an easy journey for me, and perhaps at times unpleasant, but I do know that doing the ‘work’ to make it happen contributes to not only further empowering myself, but perhaps even empowering another by modeling the behavior.
It Is All About Timing
I’ve been deliberating about several career moves lately. It can be hard to discern at times which thoughts are just good ol fashion fear of failure and which thoughts merit examination. We all are capable of making plans, it is the unknown outcomes that muddy the waters that can wash over your path along the way. Like Mike Tyson said, “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face.” So when I came across the TED Talk below which focuses on what makes a startp successful, I listened hard. So what does makes a startup (or anything else you could argue) successful? Timing. I agree with what Bill Gross shares in his TED Talk. Perhaps you will too. So now the challenge becomes, jumping when the time is right, even if you don’t feel 100% prepared. Sometimes you just have to go and do before the right timing slips away. To hear what Bill Gross, founder and CEO of Idealab has to share, listen here.
Ignore Them
Setting a goal is the easy part. Staying focused is when the challenges kick in. And perhaps one of the biggest distractions on the path to achieving a goal is when others question your goal. Recently I coordinated a TEDx event. One of the speakers, a successful English Channel swimmer noted the feedback she often got/gets in regards to such an accomplishment is negative feedback. You see people tend to belittle or deconstruct your goals, for reasons that have nothing to do with you. Bottom line, if you succeed in doing whatever amazing, juicy, courageous thing you’ve set out to do, it reminds others that setting and reaching goals is possible. Expect a direct correlation between the size of your goal and the negative pushback you receive, the greater the goal, the greater the pushback. Expect it, but do not accept or internalize it. Other people’s criticism most of the time, close to all of the time, has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
What Is It Really Worth? Or, If You Aren’t Contributing Give Up Your Seat At The Table
With stats showing over 75% of the U.S. workforce is unhappy with their job(s) you have to begin to wonder why they stay. Where is the value for them in maintaining the misery, not only for themselves, but most likely, the ripple impacts their family and friends? Money and/or family, is the response I most often hear in regards to folks who consciously show up to a job they don’t like, and often full on hate. One, your family and friends want you to be happy. Two, there is most likely a job out there for you that you’d enjoy and would pay what you need to live a happy life. Three, if you are not looking for a better job, you can not find a better job. And four, perhaps there is someone out there that would really dig the job you are in. Summary: If you are at the table and not contributing, give up your seat to someone who will. You can’t find the right fit and fall into the right slot without shaking things up a bit.
Public Speaking
Yesterday I held a TEDxWomen event here in IL, on the beautiful North Shore of Lake Michigan, outside of Chicago, in the amazing suburb of Winnetka. I learned a few extremely valuable lessons in the compact time I had to organize it, raise money for it, pick speakers and implement it all. 1) It is true, when opportunity knocks and you aren’t sure how to tackle the opportunity, say yes anyway, and figure it out along the way. 2) A great thing is a great thing. My event sold out without advertising and I covered cost with investing less than 2 hours raising the $8,000 I wanted to do the event well. 3) If you need help, ask. I didn’t ask for help for any of the process except for the day of the event. That was a mistake on my part as I could have shared this amazing experience with others. 4) There is an endless flow of amazing people when you look for them. The event featured 12 of these amazing people and their incredible stories. Some of the great speakers yesterday, Julia Collins who is the 2nd winningest Jeopardy contestant of all time, Marcia Cleveland, who swam the English Channel – her book,http://www.amazon.com/Dover-Solo-Swimming-English-Channel/dp/0967209110/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432928785&sr=1-1&keywords=Dover+Marcia+Cleveland, Jeanne Bishop who shared her story of mercy and grace after several members of her family were murdered – her book: http://www.amazon.com/Change-Heart-Justice-Making-Sisters/dp/0664259979, and so many other wonderful women. TEDxWomen and TEDx in general are the most amazing examples of an institution that has created a platform for truly, as they say, sharing “Ideas Worth Spreading”. Nine of the twelve speakers at day’s end yesterday…
Ratty Transgressions
There are all types of very important, official sounding words to describe group/team conflict dynamics. We can talk about proportional or perceptual conflict, but what it all boils down to on most occasions when conflict goes from productive to toxic is what I like to call “rats in a cage conflict.” “Rats in a cage conflict” is the scenario when there appears (real or not) to be more work and less time for those within the dynamic to get it all done. Basically, scarce resources, primal instincts equal turning on each other. The result is the dual ratty transgressions of finger-pointing and off-loading responsibilities. A simpler term is “drama.” The key to resolution is within the observation of the dynamic and workload as a whole. As noted above, the fall out can come from a scenario that is perceived and not real? How? Burnout and even stress can skew our outlooks. We fail to appropriately address and manage our time. For instance, recently someone shared they don’t have enough time for all that is required of them. Upon further evaluation, turns out he does have enough time, the time however was not being managed well. Often just the stress of the known combined with the unknown timeline of when the flood will abate is enough for folks to disconnect from appropriate time management skills, and the downward spiral begins. Perceived work versus actual work can be two very different things. When our time management component snaps due to misperception, the toxic fallout will spread to additional employees and the dominos begin to fall. So how do you address the situation? You can address it in several ways. Time management resources help, continued communication helps, accountability helps, and planning helps. If someone is overwhelmed have them map out their duties and time management plan. Boom, whining goes away and you can identify if the problem is real or perceived.
Action + Accountability Trumps Ongoing Mind Numbing Discussion
Think. Discuss. Act. Be Accountable. That is all you need to succeed. There is a direct correlation at a point in ongoing discussions showing reduced productivity and positive outcome. Early collaboration and action has a cost benefit.
Action Trumps Ongoing Discussion
Action trumps ongoing discussion. Think about the issue, have a meeting or discussion to find the best course of action and then move on it. Failure to pull the trigger and then relapse into ongoing consensus and meetings is the path to an ongoing loss of productivity and ROI. Be active, be accountable.
It’s Not What You Say, It’s What You Do
As we all know, talk is cheap. Great ideas are nothing without implementation. Your goals are not achievable without action.