My summer reading pile is almost all books about women. Books about women in the nineteenth century, women and self esteem, women and leadership, women in politics, etc. All very interesting, all research for articles and a book I’m drafting out. And while these books are interesting, all too often there is a common thread that tugs at the back of my mind, women as a gender are often stagnant regarding the women’s issues talked about in the 1970s and on. We still have not resolved many of the challenges women face in society and the workplace, and at times it seems like in the past they were easier to address, as now, when you bring them up in certain circles an example of an outlier will be thrown into the conversation as if that woman was the norm. For me, reading these books is often like watching reruns of the late 80’s early 90’s hit Designing Women, deeply unsettling when the realization that so many of the concerns, issues and challenges of decades ago still exist today. I’m constantly amazed how many successful women, whether at home or in the workplace still feel their contributions are not noteworthy. And I’m still sadly surprised when I hear, as I did last week, why women do not belong in leadership roles, or hear a woman in the workplace referred to as a “bitch.” I deeply believe that if we start paying more attention to the dynamics that surround us we can improve and progress from where we are as a society in regards to women, to where we often assume we are, and where we strive to be. There is currently a gap, and a big one at that.
Inclusion
One of the greatest hurdles to productive group implementation is one of the easiest to solve, listening. Was everyone heard is a major indicator in whether or not the product of a decision will be implemented and the percentage of support it will receive. When we look at the model of group decision making – orientation, discussion, decision making, and implementation – it’s easy to identify where verbal contribution factors in. So the path is clear. The challenge is the engagement piece. Is everyone’s voice being heard? Is everyone being asked to contribute. Even if someone does not have something to contribute, the request and offer for them to contribute is critical, as is the sense of inclusion. Whether one decides to contribute or not, has less impact on outcomes than whether or not they felt included. A sense of inclusion is paramount to the decision to support the outcome. What’s all of the above mean? Want to tank your project quickly? Have someone who was involved in the project bad mouth it.
Public Speaking
Yesterday I held a TEDxWomen event here in IL, on the beautiful North Shore of Lake Michigan, outside of Chicago, in the amazing suburb of Winnetka. I learned a few extremely valuable lessons in the compact time I had to organize it, raise money for it, pick speakers and implement it all. 1) It is true, when opportunity knocks and you aren’t sure how to tackle the opportunity, say yes anyway, and figure it out along the way. 2) A great thing is a great thing. My event sold out without advertising and I covered cost with investing less than 2 hours raising the $8,000 I wanted to do the event well. 3) If you need help, ask. I didn’t ask for help for any of the process except for the day of the event. That was a mistake on my part as I could have shared this amazing experience with others. 4) There is an endless flow of amazing people when you look for them. The event featured 12 of these amazing people and their incredible stories. Some of the great speakers yesterday, Julia Collins who is the 2nd winningest Jeopardy contestant of all time, Marcia Cleveland, who swam the English Channel – her book,http://www.amazon.com/Dover-Solo-Swimming-English-Channel/dp/0967209110/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432928785&sr=1-1&keywords=Dover+Marcia+Cleveland, Jeanne Bishop who shared her story of mercy and grace after several members of her family were murdered – her book: http://www.amazon.com/Change-Heart-Justice-Making-Sisters/dp/0664259979, and so many other wonderful women. TEDxWomen and TEDx in general are the most amazing examples of an institution that has created a platform for truly, as they say, sharing “Ideas Worth Spreading”. Nine of the twelve speakers at day’s end yesterday…
Action Trumps Ongoing Discussion
Action trumps ongoing discussion. Think about the issue, have a meeting or discussion to find the best course of action and then move on it. Failure to pull the trigger and then relapse into ongoing consensus and meetings is the path to an ongoing loss of productivity and ROI. Be active, be accountable.
Go Ahead, Complain
There will always be someone there to complain with you. You don’t have to look to far. Here is the thing though, why are they so willing? Perhaps because they are operating in fear as well and have no interest in moving forward? Is life, work, etc. always fair, no, no it is not. But, so what and who cares? Can you use that things aren’t fair as an excuse not to bring your best to the table. Yes you can. But seriously, really, who are you hurting in the long run? Feel free to excuse away your potential. You can do whatever you want. But the outcome is the following…your actions=your results/consequences. If you want to squander the opportunity to release mediocrity and live the life of the average, hey, go for it, I’m not hear to judge. Just don’t hold others back. Be honest, and perhaps even kind enough, to walk away. In the coming new year know this one thing is always true…you, and you alone are your greatest obstacle to getting all that is glorious, juicy and deeply fulfilling. Don’t let fear stop you. “Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew.” ~ Guillaume Apollinaire