Dear Control Freak

Dear Control Freak…This is not a judgement, but a confession.  I use to be a control freak.  The whole giant amalgamation of every stereotype that comes with the term.  I wanted to control time, outcomes, visions, dynamics, etc.  I like to look back and think to myself, ‘how adorable you thought that controlling everything was possible or productive.’

Is wanting to have control understandable?  Absolutely.  Is it productive? No.  Does it lead to the best outcomes? No. Why? Several reasons, and here they come…

You are not a mighty fortress, no matter what you think.  Process is an organic activity and if you try to control it all by yourself you will fail.  You will fail on so many levels it would make a clown cry.  One, you fail yourself as control eliminates your perspective to actively balance your own life.  It also limits the incoming flow of knowledge you have access to, as well as the potential for growth, as you will most likely feel you already have things under control.  You will fail your business/employer by placing limits on outcomes forcing them into the realm of your desired picture. You will fail those who have to collaborate with you as they will no longer provide their “A” game, knowing it will not matter as you will shape outcomes the way you want to.  You will fail your friends and family on multiple levels as they will see less of you while you are busy being master of the universe, as well as, you are probably limiting their potential on some level when you are around.

What will you get from being a control freak?  All the blame, as no one else has a claim to the input on a project that fails. And perhaps even something like high blood pressure.  And of course that golden moment when it all comes tumbling down and you have to admit to yourself that you, along with the rest of us, really have no control after all.

The good news, what you do have is the capacity to deliver your best day to day efforts and know that is enough, without having to have control.

control freak