I’m not sure which is a bigger disservice, when we are told that life is meant to be easy or when we are told that our lack of success is because we aren’t tuned into ourselves. Both make it sound like life is this magical and easy path we meander down. We hear these messages from some religious folks, from self-help gurus, etc. It shapes and provides us a double whammy of encouraging less hard work and blaming ourselves for not being able to make it happen easily and effortlessly. Like if your fairy godmother didn’t show up and make your dreams come true you are a loser. Don’t get me wrong, life is incredible and beautiful but it is hard work sometimes and sometimes painful. Teddy Roosevelt once said, “It is only through labor and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better things.” And most people would agree he had a pretty cool life. I doubt Abraham Lincoln, Mother Teresa, Jesus, Jane Addams, Clara Barton, Ida B. Wells Barnett, Helen Keller, Thomas Edison, Gandhi, Buddha, etc. would have had the lives they had if they had entrenched themselves in seeking the mellow easy path that is so often preached and marketed to us today. I feel life is more along the lines of Stephen Covey’s quote, “We are limited but we can push back the borders of our limitations.” Key word “push” meaning there is effort involved. Effort beyond paying someone to tell you or make you feel your life is groovy. Sure you can seek the easy out…but you will be seeking for a long time to no avail. While we are accustomed to thinking good things come to those who wait…I say good things come to those who get off their bums and seek and conquer. So you can be passive and let others feed you what seems convenient or you can take the following advice… “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson “If a man would move the world, he must first move himself.” – Socrates “He who begun has half done. Dare to be wise; begin.” – Horace “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” – Helen Keller Either way you will learn a lesson. The question is what lesson and result do you want?!
Struggling? Fantastic!
Do you feel as if you are struggling? Fantastic! In a world that presents immediate gratification and that everything should be easy, struggling doesn’t seem fashionable. But guess what…fashionable or not, it paves the road to your dreams. We don’t really tune into ourselves unless we feel the push and pull of life. Struggling helps us sort through how bad we want something, what it is truly worth to us. Struggle sows the seeds of our great rewards. Proof that struggle weeds out the suckers… Abraham Lincoln had numerous disasters in his life, even lost eight elections. Without facing and dealing with struggle he would not have become a great President. Tyler Perry lived in his car so committed to his passion that he would not settle for anything less. Below is a short clip with some more examples of great people who struggled, worked through it, and reaped the passion they were working towards all along! While it might be easier and possibly at times more lucrative to tell people it is easy…I’ll do you the great favor instead and share…life isn’t suppose to be easy…it is suppose to be worthwhile. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tjYoKCBYag
Without Connection You Have Nothing
In coaching, just as in management, without connecting you have nothing. Well, nothing long-term that is. Can you motivate by fear? Yes. Can you motivate by pressure? Yes. Can you motivate through goal setting and plan implementation? Yes. Will the motivation turn into long-term behavioral changes? No. Long term behavioral changes take an investment of time, enough to make a connection. People will work hard for you if they feel they have to, no doubt about it. So if that is your goal, go for it, no need to connect. However, if you are truly interested in contributing to the betterment of staff, peers, community, etc. it will take your time and consideration to do so. Templates are great but they cannot compete with the feel of connecting with another. Leadership works best when you connect. Without connection your result will be production based only, not behavioral. Once that employee, peer, etc. leaves your company, chances are they will return to who they ‘really’ are and not who they felt they had to be for you. Again, the choice is all about how broad of an impact you want to have.