I saw the above in a random post this morning. I’d like to take that 2% and up it to the 20% reminder Pareto’s Law conveys. Shape it how you want to, 20% of the people in your life cause 80% of the problems, 80% of your time goes to 20% of your customers, etc. No matter how you frame it, it is a great reminder of really taking a look at how you are distributing your resources and the return on investment, be it financial, emotional, etc. you receive. Recently I’ve noticed my 2nd and 3rd quarters have been time starved yet not financially productive. I’ve taken a look at where my time is going. And true to formula, 80% of my time is going to 20% of the people in my life, which happen to have a low to no return on investment for me, relationship wise, business wise, productivity wise, etc. A very ‘people pleasing’ dynamic grew out of this 20% at some point, and unchecked that dynamic has grown like a field of weeds. Consequently I have the majority of my time being sucked up by people with their hands out. Don’t get me wrong I believe in mentoring, supporting, even volunteering. The risk factor to stay aware of is when we fall out of balance and there is no mutual benefit. I’m not suggesting there always has to be a mutual benefit on every human interaction you have, but odds are you have a lot of responsibility in your life and need to be cognizant of what will build you up, and what will tear you down. It is true, if you identified a 2% shift there would be an impact. Realistically though, odds are if you invest the time you can identify over a 20% factor that would significantly change your daily life, and subsequently your life as a whole. The challenge is one, carving out time for evaluation, and two, having the courage to set down and walk away from those things that no longer serve your mental, financial and/or physical well-being. I’ve recently completed step one, and now begin step two. Step two will not be an easy journey for me, and perhaps at times unpleasant, but I do know that doing the ‘work’ to make it happen contributes to not only further empowering myself, but perhaps even empowering another by modeling the behavior.
Free Will & Neuropeptides
If someone came up to you and said, ‘here is exactly what you have been saying you want,’ would you take it? Be honest, because if you think about it, at some point chances are someone/something has come into your life that you have said has been missing. Such as something you put on your ‘if only this would happen…then this could happen’ list. This is note a judgment, it is a fact that most people do not open the door when opportunity knocks. The reason they do not open it is because they are busy talking on the phone with the past and are comfortable doing so. This is a form of free will. And while free will has been debated for centuries for the sake of this post let’s take the component of ‘morality’ out of it and just boil it down to our ability to pick what we want to do. So, opportunity is knocking on your door, BOOM, your neuropeptides kick in. Neuropeptides influence part of your brain when it comes to learning, rewards, etc. The catch is they can be influenced by our emotions and once that path is created we have to be conscious about breaking it. This is important to note as emotions are based in past behavior. Subsequently we will repeat past results. This is only convenient for those who enjoy inaction and have a decent amount of people around them that support their complaining while doing nothing about it. For the rest of us it is a call to action. All this is to say if opportunity is knocking (and it almost always is as long as you are dissatisfied with a component in your life) it is not enough to hear the knock. You must also go open the door (take action). Failure to do so will result in opportunity leaving your door and going to the neighbor’s (or competitors) instead.