This week I found myself asking myself “What just happened?!” I had just finished raising my voice towards an employee. That isn’t me. That isn’t behavior I approve of or exhibit. So what just happen? I want to preface this with I’m overjoyed that I had the knowledge to recognize I was at the beginning of a very dark and onerous path. One a lot of us go down thinking “this situation requires it.” Let me help you out, there is never a situation that requires you to treat others unkindly. Never. “Never” seems like a powerful statement in a world where people can be idiots and/or jerks. Here is the thing though, you (most likely) don’t want to be an idiot or a jerk. And you will be once you creep from ‘just this time’ into the next time and next time… BOOM, you’ve now got a new habit/behavior and BOOM you are now an idiot or jerk. How does that work out for everybody? Not good my friend, not good. I great friend and amazing coach sent the following link which very appropriately timed I got this morning, http://zenhabits.net/conscious/ . It addresses what I like to call “action creep”. Actions that slowly creep into behaviors and habits. Actions that also can turn us into a creep. The path you go down will determine your destination. This is to say, be very aware of the path(s) you pick daily. And above all, don’t let FEAR of failure or confrontation bully you into becoming someone you know at your core you are not.
Go Ahead, Complain
There will always be someone there to complain with you. You don’t have to look to far. Here is the thing though, why are they so willing? Perhaps because they are operating in fear as well and have no interest in moving forward? Is life, work, etc. always fair, no, no it is not. But, so what and who cares? Can you use that things aren’t fair as an excuse not to bring your best to the table. Yes you can. But seriously, really, who are you hurting in the long run? Feel free to excuse away your potential. You can do whatever you want. But the outcome is the following…your actions=your results/consequences. If you want to squander the opportunity to release mediocrity and live the life of the average, hey, go for it, I’m not hear to judge. Just don’t hold others back. Be honest, and perhaps even kind enough, to walk away. In the coming new year know this one thing is always true…you, and you alone are your greatest obstacle to getting all that is glorious, juicy and deeply fulfilling. Don’t let fear stop you. “Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew.” ~ Guillaume Apollinaire
Keeping The Faith In Uncertain Times
I was thinking the other day about some of the people I have coached. So often there is a common theme, fear of the uncertain. What made me pause and really consider this is the fact that we all have moments of fear when things seem uncertain. It doesn’t really matter if they are little things or big life changing things. So I find it so intriguing that, especially in the workplace we keep these fears to ourselves, further fueling their fire. Uncertainty is uncomfortable, but when you add fear to the equation you can begin traversing down the path of unbearable. This is something you need not do. When you speak about your fear it helps you to provide balance by adding back in the factual components. All this is to say, why torture yourself? Talk to somebody. The following blog post is one you may enjoy that speaks about career transitions and uncertainty. Enjoy! http://tinybuddha.com/blog/career-transitions-how-to-cope-with-the-in-between-stage