Authenticity Matters With “Asks”​ It doesn’t matter if you are asking for a donation, or a sale, authenticity matters. Once upon a time a long time ago while I was working in economic development a State of Ohio project manager got stranded half way up to the project site between Columbus and Montpelier. The building owner could have wrote the day off and accepted the offer to reschedule, but instead what he did reshaped how I view and act in regards to authentic engagement. The building owner drove ninety minutes to pick up the project manager and made sure he not only saw our site, but also made it back to Columbus safely. Was it kind, most certainly. Was it advantageous, absolutely, that is a lot of face time in the car. Could anyone pull it off? No. Why? Because whether it is a ninety minute car ride or one minute email people know when you are being authentic and when you are just trying to ‘sell’ them, and they will respond accordingly. Almost everyone can share an example of when they felt they engaged in a conversation believing an authentic relationship was developing and then BAM received an ‘ask’ that was clearly neither authentic nor engaging. Can you get a donor or sale operating that way? Maybe, but if you do it will be a ‘one and done’ and you’ve framed yourself forever in that person’s perspective as someone who was not engaging them, but using them. You know what people really don’t like? People don’t like feeling used. So whether you are asking for donations, trying to make a sale, or even asking for a contact connection, you better know why you are doing it, why it matters to you, and most importantly why it matters to the other party. I recently received a fairly long email ‘ask’ that appeared to be authentic. Then in under twenty-four hours I received a duplicate with about a two line difference from another party. The first felt semi-engaging, the duplicate turned the experience into feeling ‘sold.’ If the approach doesn’t make me feel good why would I share the information with others? Likewise if the donor experience doesn’t make me feel good why would I encourage others to donate? People are often resistant to making ‘asks’ whether it is for a donation or a sale. Same goes with resistance to giving or buying. The gap between resistance and acceptance is more often than not the lack of or presence of authenticity. It matters.

Selling Isn’t About You, It’s About Me If you are breathing you are in the business of sales in some form. Maybe it is trying to sell your qualifications to someone who is hiring. Maybe you are selling a product or service. If you are on LinkedIn or any social media you no doubt have had numerous ads, emails, etc. hit your eyeballs with information on something someone is trying to sell you. Clario.co has a stat that states you are exposed to 5,000 ads a day in some form if you are living in the modern world. Dakota Shane, co-founder of Copy Buffs, wrote in a 2019 Inc. article 96% of consumers don’t trust ads. Those two stats combined are a strong argument showing selling has become white noise. Adding more avenues in which you talk about yourself or your product will not change that.   Let’s assume you are indeed exposed to 5,000 ads a day in one form or another. Can you name ten that you were exposed to yesterday? Maybe, but probably not, unless you’re in that business. What are the ads, traditional or in the form of blogs, vlogs, podcasts, posts, etc. that you do retain? You remember the ones that speak specifically to you and your interest. That’s not selfish, that’s just science. A July 16, 2013 Scientific American article shared 60% of our time is spent talking about ourselves. June 22, 2016 Nick Fellers wrote an item including a Dale Carnegie quote “95% of our time is spent thinking about ourselves.” For better or worse we are ego centric individuals. We know this and the dynamic exist in and outside of sales.   If you want to be more than white noise, and leave an impression remember the stats above and act accordingly. Without a solid impression you’ll have no impact, and no impact equates to no opportunity. Here’s an example of solid impact… I believe it was the summer of 2008, while working in Petersburg, VA and doing some side work at Virginia State University, talking to interns about social media I randomly reached out to craigslist’s Craig Newmark for feedback. He offered to conference in. Flash forward to 2020 and I’m certain every time he retweets a teacher’s funding request they get the same feeling I got in 2008, ‘this guy has my support throughout the reminder of my career and beyond.’ Why? Because he offered to help, not sell. Mr. Newmark easily could have led with a fee request or passed any of us by and I know I wouldn’t have thought anything except ‘I know he’s busy, it was a long shot.’ He indirectly taught me that impression is everything and the direct route to impact.    Good sales/selling is not and will never be about selling. It will always be about helping. To get from introduction to impact the impression you leave better include how you are making ‘their’ world better in some manner, otherwise you are nothing more than a white noise machine.  “They won’t remember what you said about yourself. They will remember your interest in them, your help and/or kindness.”

Not “If”​ But When You Are Trolled This morning someone said they are really excited about their idea but concerned about the possibility of getting trolled once they roll it out. Whether you are a man or woman, if you ever have the concern that you may be trolled let me ease your mind. You most likely will be. Especially if you are doing something of significance. If you are a woman your chances increase even more. Having experienced it myself, being called a “witch” among other things online by an elected official nonetheless, I assure you, it is unpleasant, but survivable. And while it is not acceptable to troll others, it is our current, unfortunate reality. Don’t let it curb your enthusiasm. Don’t let it curb your efforts. If Jason Kipnis (Cleveland Indians, now Cubs) and Taylor Swift get trolled for the way they do their jobs, well assume you are not exempt. An article in Entrepreneur back in 2015 noted 28% of people had admitted to being malicious in trolling. Flash forward to 2020 and I think you know the environment you are living in, so that number has no doubt increased. In 2019 there was a NPR piece that referenced a research model which estimated of 14.5 million tweets mentioning women, a million of them were abusive or “problematic.” If you are a woman of color the risk is even greater. So again, it you are doing anything of significance or merit, it isn’t “if” but how you will react “when” you get trolled.  Worrying about being trolled is a legitimate concern, but the worrying part does nothing for you. Awareness and planning are the key. Be excited about your work. Be prepared and just know that there is a bottomless pit of those who rather pull you down than level up themselves. Bottom line, Ben Franklin was right, “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.”